Relationships tricks and childhood trauma influence
How childhood memories changes adult relationships? Allow yourself to feel what you feel and don’t judge yourself for it. Let the way you feel about your parent or the situation guide you in the direction of what you need most in order to heal. If that means ending interactions with family that were once a part of your everyday, then that’s what it means. No one knows your situation better than you, so allow yourself to be that expert and feel what you feel when you feel it. Facing and resolving the pain of the past is not something that we can always do alone and it’s not something that can be managed simply with the help of a few good friends. Sometimes, it’s necessary to find a specialist when dealing with childhood trauma; but it’s important to make sure you’re finding the right person to help you resolve past issues.
Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship. Your emotions allow you to feel giddy, excited, interested and involved with another person. Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.
Parents who speak with their children and explain why, for example, you say thank you when someone is kind, or why you should not hit siblings when they don’t give you their toys, are helping to raise a child who thrives in social situations. Dinner time provides a great opportunity for conversation, and it can be a time to talk to your child about your values, his or her emotions, and interactions during that day.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. See even more details at where abandonment issues come from.
As adults we often forget about how impressionable children’s minds can be. They are always watching, replicating, and learning from those around them. In fact, according to Healthline Parenthood, the most crucial milestones in a kid’s life occur by the age of 7. Creating a safe space for a child’s development is as important as providing them food and shelter. When it comes to trauma, there are many different types that can occur. Whether it is physical, sexual, or mental abuse, a prolonged severe illness, witnessing domestic violence, or experiencing intensive bullying, individuals process these events in different ways. As adults, these situations can be difficult to handle but as children, not only is trauma difficult to handle it is hard for children to process.